YELL ABOUT FOOD IS SUSPENDED INDEFINITELY UNTIL WE SORT SOME SHIT OUT AFTER A HORRIBLE STAND MIXER ACCIDENT. THIS CAME ON THE HEELS OF AN EQUALLY HORRIFIC EXPLOSION INVOLVING SEVERAL FRUITCAKES AND A TURDUCKEN. SEVERAL LIVES WERE LOST. PLEASE FORGIVE THE LACK OF SAUCY LANGUAGE AND FOOD PICTURES UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.
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MERRY BOXING DAY! I MADE YOU SOME WHITE CHOCOLATE GINGERBREAD TRUFFLES, DARK CHOCOLATE ORANGE LIQUEURS, AND MILK CHOCOLATE SEA SALT CARAMELS. I ATE ‘EM ALL ON CHRISTMAS THOUGH.
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SO YOU’VE BEEN COOKING RANDOM SHIT FOR DAYS - WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THE LEFTOVERS? TAKE ALL OF IT AND SHOVE IT INTO A POT, TOSS IN SOME SPICES AND ANYTHING ELSE IN YOUR PANTRY, STIR IT UP, AND IN A FEW HOURS, YOU’VE GOT CHILI. TOSS ON SOME CORNBREAD AND YOU’RE SET. IT’S SO EASY, YOU COULD TRAIN A MONKEY TO DO IT. OR YOU COULD MAKE IT WITH MONKEY MEAT. YOU SICK, SICK BASTARD.
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SO SOME OF YOU ARE STILL BITCHING THAT I DON’T PUT ANY ‘FULL PLATE’ MEALS ON THIS SITE OR ANY OF THAT SHIT. SO IN HONOR OF YOUR BITCHINESS, I USED A COUPLE RECIPES FROM BITCHIN’ KITCHEN: PEPPER-CRUSTED TERIYAKI TUNA AND SWEET ROASTED CHERRY TOMATOES. AND I MADE SOME MASHED SWEET POTATOES WITH BROWN SUGAR-GLAZED APPLES, TOO. BECAUSE I FUCKING CAN.
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SOMETIMES, YOU NEED TO TAKE YOUR SHIT TO THE NEXT LEVEL. LIKE SAY YOU MAKE A BATCH OF CINNAMON ROLLS FROM SCRATCH - THAT WOULD BE A PISS-POOR EXCUSE FOR BREAKFAST. BLOW IT UP AND TURN IT INTO CINNAMON ROLL FRENCH TOAST WITH HOMEMADE STRAWBERRY COMPOTE AND WHIPPED CREAM, AND THEN YOU’LL KNOW JUST WHAT THE FUCK IS UP.
…OF COURSE, IT HELPS IF YOUR GODDAMN FRIENDS DON’T START TO EAT IT BEFORE YOU CAN TAKE A FUCKING PICTURE.
